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So Funny Quotes

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So Funny Quotes: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.



So Funny Quotes: "Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be, that's stupid. So be yourself."

Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be, that's stupid. So be yourself.




So Funny Quotes: "The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life."

The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life.



So Funny Quotes: "I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people."

I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people.




So Funny Quotes: "Act your age, not your shoe size."

Act your age, not your shoe size.



So Funny Quotes: "The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last."

The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last.



So Funny Quotes: "People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.




So Funny Quotes: "The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth"

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth



So Funny Quotes: "Let me remind you that this is God's universe, and He is doing things His way. You may think you have a better way, but you don't have a universe to rule."

Let me remind you that this is God's universe, and He is doing things His way. You may think you have a better way, but you don't have a universe to rule.



So Funny Quotes: "When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.



So Funny Quotes: "Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices."

Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.



So Funny Quotes: "When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality."

When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.




So Funny Quotes: "Trample the weak. Hurdle the dead."

Trample the weak. Hurdle the dead.



So Funny Quotes: "Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid."

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.



So Funny Quotes: "I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!"

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!



So Funny Quotes: "The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity."

The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.



So Funny Quotes: "One day ladies will take their computers for walks in the park and tell each other, "My little computer said such a funny thing this morning"."

One day ladies will take their computers for walks in the park and tell each other, "My little computer said such a funny thing this morning".



So Funny Quotes: "I ain't afraid to love a man. I ain't afraid to shoot him either."

I ain't afraid to love a man. I ain't afraid to shoot him either.



So Funny Quotes: "A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest"

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest



So Funny Quotes: "Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different."

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.



So Funny Quotes: "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.



So Funny Quotes: "Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money."

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.



So Funny Quotes: "Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.



So Funny Quotes: "I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert."

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.



So Funny Quotes: "Dogs are animals that poop in public and you're supposed to pick it up. After a week of doing this, you've got to ask yourself, "Who's the real master in this relationship?""

Dogs are animals that poop in public and you're supposed to pick it up. After a week of doing this, you've got to ask yourself, "Who's the real master in this relationship?"



So Funny Quotes: "The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life."

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.



So Funny Quotes: "If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears."

If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.



So Funny Quotes: "I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there."

I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.



So Funny Quotes: "I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag."

I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag.



So Funny Quotes: "According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog."

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.



So Funny Quotes: "Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence; because if she doesn't have that, then she’s mine."

Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence; because if she doesn't have that, then she’s mine.



So Funny Quotes: "It is commonly believed that anyone who tabulates numbers is a statistician. This is like believing that anyone who owns a scalpel is a surgeon."

It is commonly believed that anyone who tabulates numbers is a statistician. This is like believing that anyone who owns a scalpel is a surgeon.



So Funny Quotes: "Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber."

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.



So Funny Quotes: "I have to be seen to be believed."

I have to be seen to be believed.



So Funny Quotes: "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well."

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.



So Funny Quotes: "What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself."

What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.



So Funny Quotes: "Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish"

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish



So Funny Quotes: "Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.



So Funny Quotes: "The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for."

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.



So Funny Quotes: "Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.



So Funny Quotes: "Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me."

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.



So Funny Quotes: "If the physical thing you're doing is funny, you don't have to act funny while doing it...Just be real and it will be funnier"

If the physical thing you're doing is funny, you don't have to act funny while doing it...Just be real and it will be funnier



So Funny Quotes: "Haters are just confused admirers because they can't figure out the reason why everyone loves you."

Haters are just confused admirers because they can't figure out the reason why everyone loves you.



So Funny Quotes: "I'll go anywhere as long as it's forward."

I'll go anywhere as long as it's forward.



So Funny Quotes: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.



So Funny Quotes: "Love is just a word, but you bring it definition."

Love is just a word, but you bring it definition.



So Funny Quotes: "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it."

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.



So Funny Quotes: "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."

Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.



So Funny Quotes: "If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else."

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.