Chevy Chase Quotes

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.

Step by step, we will break this cycle of silence, poor information and stigma.

The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.

It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.

I am a clown, just without the painted smile.

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

How much do I owe you?

What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.

What makes a home home? Animals, and a little bit of clutter.

Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.

I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.

The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House. I wanted Carter in, and I had a forum of 20 million people watching.

With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it when people shake my hand.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.

Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons and where everyone their age wasn't trying to get into movies.

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

I guess I look so straight and normal nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.

Television doesn't make stars. It's the written media, the press, that makes stars.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my 3-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else.

If you're in the White House, it's your house, and you can invite whatever friend you want.

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an actor so much now.

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.

My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.

Nobody prepares you for what happens when you get famous, and I didn't handle it well.

Frank Capra's grandson was a second Assistant Director on 'Christmas Vacation.'

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

I come from a much freer kind of performance thing, where I rely on my own improv and my own sense of humor.

Let's not call physical comedy falling down and pratfalls. All humor is physical, no matter how you dish it out. It's timing, like a dancer or an athlete would have.

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my three-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else.