Poop Quotes

Poop Quote of the day

Dogs are animals that poop in public and you're supposed to pick it up. After a week of doing this, you've got to ask yourself, "Who's the real master in this relationship?"

If you're really a mean person you're going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.

If all you do is follow the herd, you'll just be stepping in poop all day

In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!

Sometimes, music is like poop. It just has to come out.

Everybody looks at their poop.

Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

Eat like a bird, poop like an elephant.

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.

If some people think, "Why am I eating a dead bird soaked in poop?" I think if some people get disgusted by that, it's all to the good. Their coronary arteries will be healthier.

Whenever I feel nervous, I feel like I have to poop.

Does koala bear poop smell like cough drops?

Ram it up your poop chute.

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

My life was once whiskey, tears and cigarettes... now it's snot, tears and a color of poop. Bliss. I do miss the whiskey, though.

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

I poop in the backyard... I wear disposable diapers.

I have a natural propensity to work on big piles of poop.

Putting Windows [3.11] on top of DOS is like putting whipped cream on a road apple [horse poop].

One side sticks to the facts, and the other side is close to playing with its poop.

Grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.

I'll eat a nugget of my own poop for 20 bucks. I'll pay you 20 bucks and I'll eat it.

You think, "Aw man, I would never want somebody else's poop on my hand," but when it's your child, "Oh, it's not that bad, I'll just wash it off."

They tell you that at his age, all they do is eat, sleep, and poop. And what I've learned is they can actually do all three at the same time. Who knew?

My most smelly job was at a kennels and cattery, and I basically spent all day scooping poop.

We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon.

My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.

Question: What is the white stuff in bird poop? Answer: That is bird poop, too.

The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down.

The great thing about having a bunch of kids is that they just remind you that you're the person who takes them to go poop. That's who you are!

I'm very happy and being raised Catholic I assume it will end tomorrow. The rug will be pulled out from under me and someone will say, now go to your real job, shoveling poop somewhere.

I use an app called ChoreMonster. The kids earn points for brushing teeth or picking up the dog poop. It's genius.

I do not care about the greatest good for the greatest number . . . Most people are poop-heads I do not care about them at all.

Sometimes on the journey, you step in dog poop. But you don't let the whole journey be about the fact that your shoe got poop on it.

Going into therapy doesn't guarantee poop on toast.

Marketing is essentially about feeding the poop back to diners fast enough to make them think they're still getting real food.

If you get made fun of working at Pier One Imports, you can't pelt them with poop.

The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.

I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop.

You are all made of real poop.

Life is my greatest enemy.

This was a true pants-pooping moment.

People die and starve every day, but look on the bright side. Lower population.

the more you stared up crap the more it's going to smell (/)

Sticking a straw up your butt won't get rid of the constipation.

Dogs are angels full of poop.