Love Marriage Quotes

We have found that the best way for our marriage to work is to let me make the big decisions and my wife the small ones. With this system I'm noticing there are usually no big ones.

Before criticizing your wife's faults remember that they may have prevented her from getting a better husband.

When you see a married couple coming down the street the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one who's mad.

It's not that I'm too particular. It's just that I'm going to wait for Dr. Right.

When I married Mr. Right I didn't know his first name was Always.

Love is like the measles. The older you get it the worse the attack.

I don't know which was worse the cost of the bridesmaid dress or having to wear it.

A bachelor is a man who has to know how to remove a coffee stain from a catsup stain from a silk tie.

I don't like being best man at a wedding 'cause there's no way to prove it.

A bachelor is a man who can take a nap on top of a bedspread.

Definition of a bachelor: A man who likes to invite girls over for a Scotch and sofa.

No woman ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First let her think she's having her way. And second let her have it.

The last word in an argument is what a wife has. Anything a husband says after that is the beginning of another argument.

My wife thinks I'm too nosy. At least that's what she writes in her diary.

He loved her for what she was - rich. He worshiped the ground her family struck oil on.

No man is boss in his own home but he can make up for it by making a dog play dead.

Marriage is a great institution but I'm not ready for an institution.

We're having a little disagreement. What I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no-expense-spared reception and what he wants is to break off our engagement.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times? A widow.

My wife and I just celebrated our twelfth anniversary. I'm Catholic so there's no real possibility of divorce. I'm Irish - so there is the possibility of murder.

Arguing with my wife is like this: "I came! I saw! I concurred!"

Our marriage is based on compromise-he admits he's wrong and I forgive him.

My wife and I have many arguments but she only wins half of them. My mother-in-law wins the other half.

I can always tell what kind of a time I'm having at a party by the look on my wife's face.

A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won't trust him to wash it.

When I met Jean I felt God reach down out of the sky pull my hair and say "This one dummy."

They were married for better or worse. He couldn't have done better and she couldn't have done worse.

The man who boasts he never made a mistake is often married to the woman who did.

You can easily tell he's a newlywed because he's still smiling at his mother-in-law.

You need that guy like a giraffe needs a strep throat.

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason - there's a reason.

This is a perfect pair - he's a hypochondriac and she's a pill.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years-I didn't want to interrupt her.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours free Retin-A.

Advice to son: Never confuse "I love you" with "I want to marry you."

God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman and God help him still more if he finds her.

My husband yells comments like "How long till you're ready? Throw out a date."

After paying for the wedding about all a father has left to give away is the bride.

She represents the country Alamonia.

A wedding invitation is sent by people who have been saying "Do we have to ask them?" to people whose first response is "How much do you think we have to spend on them?"

You may marry the man of your dreams ladies but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.

The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prison they let you play Softball on the weekends.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce murder yes but divorce never.

Let me give you an idea how long ago they got married. You know where they met? . . . At a Cubs World Series game.

You might try doing what my folks did. Twice a week they would go out for a special meal. . . with wine good food and soft lighting. Dad took Tuesday and Mom took Thursday.

He had a great sound system - but he didn't know much about fidelity.

Getting married is a good deal like going to a restaurant with your friends. You order what you want and then when you see what the other fellow got you wish you had taken that.

Prenuptial agreement: Paper a lawyer prepares to protect the party of the first part from the party of the second part should they discover the party's over.

After our honeymoon I felt like a new man. She said she did too.