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Roseanne Barr Quotes

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Roseanne Barr Quotes: "I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself."

I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.




Roseanne Barr Quotes: "The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it."

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.



Roseanne Barr Quotes: "We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are."

We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.



Roseanne Barr Quotes: "You may marry the man of your dreams ladies but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps."

You may marry the man of your dreams ladies but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.




Roseanne Barr Quotes: "Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with."

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.



Roseanne Barr Quotes: "Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?"

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?



Roseanne Barr Quotes: "I figure when my husband comes home from work, if the kids are still alive, then I've done my job."

I figure when my husband comes home from work, if the kids are still alive, then I've done my job.




Roseanne Barr Quotes: "I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them."

I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.



Roseanne Barr Quotes: "The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that."

The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.



Roseanne Barr Quotes: "And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny."

And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.



Roseanne Barr Quotes: "The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it."

The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.



Roseanne Barr Quotes: "I do kabbalistic meditation. It's not unlike time travel it can change the past and not just the future. You can look at what was lost and go beyond the grief of what was lost."

I do kabbalistic meditation. It's not unlike time travel it can change the past and not just the future. You can look at what was lost and go beyond the grief of what was lost.




Roseanne Barr Quotes: "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.



Roseanne Barr Quotes: "I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool."

I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool.



Roseanne Barr Quotes: "To expect life to treat you good is foolish as hoping a bull won't hit you because you are a vegetarian."

To expect life to treat you good is foolish as hoping a bull won't hit you because you are a vegetarian.



Roseanne Barr Quotes: "As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.



Roseanne Barr Quotes: "I survived my childhood by birthing many separate identities to stand in for one another in times of great stress and fear."

I survived my childhood by birthing many separate identities to stand in for one another in times of great stress and fear.