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Elmer Pasta Quotes

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Elmer Pasta Quotes: "He is at an age that whenever a pretty girl smiles at him he immediately looks down to see what is unzipped."

He is at an age that whenever a pretty girl smiles at him he immediately looks down to see what is unzipped.



Elmer Pasta Quotes: "For him any wine dated before four o'clock in the afternoon is vintage."

For him any wine dated before four o'clock in the afternoon is vintage.




Elmer Pasta Quotes: "Let's toast a real wine expert - someone who knows a good rose goes best with bologna sandwiches."

Let's toast a real wine expert - someone who knows a good rose goes best with bologna sandwiches.



Elmer Pasta Quotes: "Here's a toast to someone who's truly a best friend - a person who goes around telling good things behind your back."

Here's a toast to someone who's truly a best friend - a person who goes around telling good things behind your back.




Elmer Pasta Quotes: "She is such a health food nut she thinks a grape is wine in pill form."

She is such a health food nut she thinks a grape is wine in pill form.



Elmer Pasta Quotes: "The only way she could get a standing ovation would be if she sang "The Star-Spangled Banner.""

The only way she could get a standing ovation would be if she sang "The Star-Spangled Banner."



Elmer Pasta Quotes: "You can easily tell he's a newlywed because he's still smiling at his mother-in-law."

You can easily tell he's a newlywed because he's still smiling at his mother-in-law.




Elmer Pasta Quotes: "He must really be a big success - even his mother-in-law admits it."

He must really be a big success - even his mother-in-law admits it.