Comedy Humor Quotes
According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.
CPR dummy looked like him and had clearly been stabbed. Repeatedly. In the groin. He thought she might have used the dummy for target practice, and tried not to be offended. Key word: tried.
Comedy is a necessity to get through life with the fewest scars. Humor is the best antidote to help relieve all struggles.
What is a quote? A quote (cognate with quota) is a cut, a section, a slice of someone's orange. You suck the slice, toss the rind, skate away.
You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.
Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to suppress it, and laughed out loud, a wicked laugh.
Whatever you do, in the privacy of your own rain shower, is your own business
The magician stood erect, menacing the attackers with demons, metamorphoses, paralyzing ailments, and secret judo holds. Molly picked up a rock.
I do not know what it was about that boy but just looking at him, even I wanted to clout him on the head. It was a head that invited violence.
I didn't notice him coming, but he didn't seem to be looking for an autograph signature
I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.
Supplementing the far, remote Glory-of-God expression in his face, the glory-of-doughnuts shone suddenly very warmly.
I think the reason I choose the comic approach so often is because it's harder, therefore affording me the opportunity to show off.
What you call idiot points, I call awesome dollars. ~Seth
Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.
A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results.
College wasn't like the real world. In the real world people dropped names based on their renown. In college, people dropped names based on their obscurity.
No, no. Don't make that face. Every time I propose to you, you make that twisty, unhappy face. It wears on a man's confidence.
The Rusty Ruins were the remains of an old city, a hulking reminder of back when there'd been way too many people, and everyone was incredibly stupid. And ugly.
She wore so much thick white makeup in order to conceal her naturally rosy complexion that if she turned around suddenly her face would probably end up on the back of her head.
Because he has the best equipment in the City and he knows how to use it!
My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.
