Larry Gelbart Quotes

Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be, let me tell you. Honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

The only way to avoid age discrimination in Hollywood is to die young.

I think the greatest imagination we can exercise is one that imagines how someone else feels. Because you know how you feel, but so often we attribute our own feelings on to someone else.

Today's audience knows more about what's on television than what's in life.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not the legs that go first; it's remembering the word for legs.

I write what I write and I honestly don't care if it gets on or not. I'm writing to see if I can find out some of what I think about any number of situations. I work it out in the writing.

We may be born equal but we're not equally talented.

Most jokes state a bitter truth.

If Hitler’s still alive, I hope he’s out of town with a musical.

Television is a weapon of mass distractrion.

Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.

If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

I think it makes people frustrated when they have to live their actual lives commercial free and they can't just magically wind up at the part with the happy ending.

One does not have humor. It has you.

I'm a recovering optimist.

I never watched Friends, maybe because it was written by people straight out of college....The only way to avoid age discrimination in Hollywood is to die young.

Reality television is less honest than YouTube. YouTube is the real reality.

I don't think you can name a good picture where the production or the possible promotion isn't "cast-contingent." That means the film needs not just star power but star box office power.

You can write something that has continuity, but it makes happy endings all the more ridiculous.

The subtle differences in language and humor that get lost in translation, for example, make it almost impossible for big companies to do something that will appeal at home and abroad.

The Amazon is still burning; we just don't hear the smoke detectors anymore.

Your style is formed by what you can't do.