In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

You cannot find strength by loathing.

When the fire is lighted within your soul, can't help it, but to burn.

God will make straight my path.

Life is like an ocean, jump right in.

Women need space and silence. We too quickly give away our energy. There's something about holding that richness.

I sound like an Englishman impersonating an American impersonating an Englishman.

It's a dangerous thing to think we know everything.

I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'

I've had such an odd career.