William Tell's son, Telly, who said as his father was pointing the bow and arrow at the apple on his head, There's gotta be an easier way to kill worms. Never got a dinner!

There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

Moses, who said to the children of Israel, Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before. Never got a dinner!

Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!

Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!

Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?"

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

I give you the end of a golden string, Only wind it into a ball, It will lead you in at Heaven's gateBuilt in Jerusalem's wall.

It was written I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice.

The government (or humanity) would not permit capital punishment for one man, but they permitted the murder of millions a little at a time.

It is love in old age, no longer blind, that is true love. For the love's highest intensity doesn't necessarily mean it's highest quality.

In proportion as a church is holy, in that proportion will its testimony for Christ be powerful.

Wealth can't buy heath, but heath can buy wealth.

If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.

You cannot receive what you don't give. Outflow determines inflow.

I think I'm a lot happier than people might think from listening to my songs.

No tame animal has lost less of its native dignity or maintained more of its ancient reserve. The domestic cat might rebel tomorrow.