George Washington, who said to his father, Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President? Never got a dinner!

There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

Moses, who said to the children of Israel, Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before. Never got a dinner!

Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!

Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!

Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?"

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

I climbed into bed, wide awake and full of dreams.

Those things you can buy have no value but have a price. Those things you cannot buy have value and are priceless.

At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice.

Now, and ever, I shall do all in my power for peace, consistently with the maintenance of government.

I would not be good with someone who did drugs. As long as I know something, I can deal with anything. I'm really good. But what I'm not good with is inconsistency. And I'm not good with not knowing.

When I look at how fortunate I've been, being a musician... my response to being overpaid is that I should pay it back to my community in some way.

I have no social position and I stay away from what is known as society as much as possible.

Prostitutes are the inevitable product of a society that places ultimate importance on money, possessions, and competition.

I gravitate toward women.

Giving is a proof that you have conquered greed.