Charlie Sheen Quotes

I don't have a tuxedo that fits anymore because my chest and my biceps are too big.

I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching, a total fricking rock star from Mars...

Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh.

I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips.

People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.

I still don't have all the answers. I'm more interested in what I can do next than what I did last.

The best way to not get your heart broken, is pretending you don't have one.

It's quite fitting that Slash is getting a star on the very street Axl Rose will one day be sleeping on.

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math.

I knew if I got loaded I was going away for a while. People would say, Oh, you're just sober because you're on probation.

I'm still alive, which is pretty cool.

I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.

Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber.

Slash sat me down at his house and said, You've got to clean up your act. You know you've gone too far when Slash is saying, Look, you've got to get into rehab.

The paramedic called the press and sold me like a loaf of bread. This was news, and he wanted to be the one to report it.

I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.

The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning.

I think my passion is misinterpreted as anger sometimes. And I don't think people are ready for the message that I'm delivering, and delivering with a sense of violent love.

I’m not 'aw shucks'. Because I'm gnarly.

I so desperately wanted to be Mr. Somebody. Instead, I was the little brother, included to a point.

I think I have a duty as a recovering guy to help, to make my knowledge of what I went through accessible.

People ask all the time, "What are you thinking?" It's my least favorite question in the world. The last bastion of solace is my mind. It's an invasion.

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen.

I don't believe in rock bottom. Rock bottom is like a fishing term.

You can put people's feet to the fire a bit just by reminding them that we're constantly creating our own history.

I gotta take the baton from Chuck Norris.

You either love or you hate. You live in the middle, you get nothing.

I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That's how I describe myself.

What is a normal childhood? We weren't rich, we were pretty middle-class. My dad survived from job to job; with him taking care of so many relatives, he couldn't save any money.

Sure, I did a lot of things in excess. But if you look at the core, the foundation of what I pursued, what red-blooded young American male in my position wouldn't?

I have one speed, I have one gear: Go!

I was bangin’ 7 gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll

I just didn't believe I was like everybody else. I thought I was unique.

I don't sleep. I wait. I sleep in cars and on couches. I sleep when I can, but when I can't sleep, I just don't, so I figure there's a higher calling keeping me on point that night.

Can't is the cancer of happening.

I'm not wearing a golden sombrero.

I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs.

Let's hook up and just bring fiery death.

Uncertainty is a sign of humility, and humility is just the ability or the willingness to learn.

I've spent, I think, close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold.

I've fallen for you like a blind roofer.

I was born dead. Yeah, the umbilical cord was like, floppy baby, the whole thing. Yeah, it was bad.

Usually in a battle sequence when a bomb is going off, you forget you're acting.

Women are not to be hit. They're to be hugged and caressed.

You can't process me with a normal brain.

You make a choice to win and you win...

Fame is empowering. My mistake was that I thought I would instinctively know how to handle it. But there's no manual, no training course.

Dad kept us out of school, but school comes and goes. Family is forever.

The only thing I'm addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent.