...and I'm standing on the corner of Fifth and Vermouth.

A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me - choke those little bad days. Choke 'em down to nothing.

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

when your down on your luck and you've lost all your dreams theres nothing like a campfire and a can of beans

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.

The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!

You have to keep busy. After all, no dog's ever pissed on a moving car.

When I was younger, I wanted to be older. Now I am older, I am not quite so sure.

Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or if you're telling them a lie, as long as they're entertained by it.

Real vampires don't get pain, we give it." Florence da Vinci, Real Vampires Live Large

If you think I am BAD than you’re wrong, I'm the worst.

The computer is the new fireplace, everyone in the family gathers around the digital hearth for warmth.

The first ideas of religion arose, not from contemplation of the works of nature, but from a concern with regard to the events of life.

I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day... Chlamydia.

Mom was the one who taught me unconditional love. With Dad, I'd always felt there was something to live up to - expectations. But in the last year, we had a wonderful relationship.

That is why it's so fun to make movies... you get to do lots of things you would never do in your normal life.

Lionel [Richie] said, "Yeah, I learned chords and stuff playin' against your albums."

You know, a left-winger, the barrier to success if you're on the left in commercial radio is a mile and a half higher than it is if you're on the right.

A picture has been said to be something between a thing and a thought.