I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me - choke those little bad days. Choke 'em down to nothing.

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.

when your down on your luck and you've lost all your dreams theres nothing like a campfire and a can of beans

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.

The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!

You have to keep busy. After all, no dog's ever pissed on a moving car.

When I was younger, I wanted to be older. Now I am older, I am not quite so sure.

Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or if you're telling them a lie, as long as they're entertained by it.

The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering.

The radiation detoxification process exists in nature. It is called: Hibernation.

When action grows unprofitable gather information when information grows unprofitable sleep.

Shinji is a quality player but he is not the only one who is finding it hard to get regular football. There are many top players in the squad and there is plenty of competition.

I haven't yet met a woman who told me, 'I wish I had shorter legs.'

I have learnt a lot about my body since my heart attack. I don't drink as much now as before.

Art is uncompromising, and life is full of compromises.

The test of a democracy is not the magnificence of buildings or the speed of automobiles or the efficiency of air transportation, but rather the care given to the welfare of all the people.

Football is about having the best offensive play possible. I always like to play offensive football, and nobody will convince me otherwise.

I do have a lot of female friends who are stand-ups and also women who are actresses and also happen to have an act.

Secure against the designs of men, secure against the malignity of the Gods, they have accomplished a thing of infinite difficulty; that to them nothing remains even to be wished.