You rented the apartment with a dead guy in the corner?” I shrugged. “I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could cover him up with a bookcase or something.

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.

You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt

I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.

You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.

He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.

Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.

If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.

My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up.- Charley Davidson

Seek to know thy soul.

Money gives you permission to just walk away from everything that isn't pretty and perfect. You can't put up with anything less than lovely. You spend your life running, avoiding, escaping.

Universe is the smallest clock.

Hope is brightest when it dawns from fears.

Happiness is dealing with setbacks with more grace, understanding and acceptance

Crimes are more effectually prevented by the certainty than the severity of punishment

Satan is cunning and man is weak, but God rules the heart of his faithful, and does what he will.

I'm growing old, I delight in the past.

I thought about running a marathon a long time ago, but I'm just not a runner.

The great cowboys are the ones with the biggest hearts.