Word of advice for any young man that might want to take out Malia or Sasha Obama - Their father can order an assassination, don't piss him off.

Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go.

Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'.

Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly.

Oh I'd be more than happy to hold, I'll just spend the time working on that brain tumor.

There are only a few things that are more entertaining than watching a cat trying to run across a freshly waxed wood floor after a ball.

If a 6 foot tall talking Badger comes to your door with a great deal on health insurance, be certain to ask if it includes in-patient psychiatric care.

The Black Pit of Despair is temporarily closed for renovations. We apologize for any inconvenience.

What, then, is the soul but a prisoner of your flesh? An undying yet constrained energy, bound and enslaved within a shuffling, steadily rotting suit of tissue and savage needs?

Think before you speak…… think before you don’t.

When you have chemistry with a potential hire, they will most likely become a great employee.

You are the best friend you will ever have. In the presence of your true self you will become the most peaceful, the most relaxed, the most natural person possible.

Artistic license sneered through the thin fabric.

Do not think your single vote does not matter much. The rain that refreshes the parched ground is made up of single drops.

Trying a case a second time is like eating yesterday morning's oatmeal.

Civility does not ...mean the mere outward gentleness of speech cultivated for the occasion, but an inborn gentleness and desire to do the opponent good.

Why don't you ever use your strength on me?" she said. Because love means renouncing strength," said Franz softly.

Consider your honour, as a gentleman, of more weight than an oath.