Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.

Say what you want about the deaf.

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

People are hungry for success without work.

I think the immediate thing is we stand up to protect those people who are in trouble.

Big business increasingly likes to portray itself as socially concerned, adopting the style of civic action through 'campaigns' of varying degrees of cynicism.

Professionally, I feel like I won the lottery and I am the luckiest person in the entire world.

I love actresses who are brave and don't do what's expected of them or don't play off how they look or take risks.

Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.

The fact that cartoons are reproduced doesn't mean anything to me as far as whether they are "real art" or not.

The American worker is more productive than he's ever been.