Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.

Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.

Competition is the death of art.

Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?

They say that cats are the only animal that can sit in your lap and ignore you. To which I say: you've never been to the Spearmint Rhino.

The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

Women are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.

I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.

Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

All money is a matter of belief.

I pull my power more tightly around me like a magic binky.

I can't talk about my style. It us kind of difficult for me. I don't like styles. I only like taking photos and expressing myself through them.

I think every leading man wants to be a character actor, and every character actor wants to be a leading man.

Personally, I'm not interested in making device drivers look like user-level. They aren't, they shouldn't be, and microkernels are just stupid.

Whenever I arrive on a real location, I have to move around and work out what the best angles are going to be.

Having a place out of the city is a shortcut toward the mental reset I need.

The furthest out is the only place to be.

It's our machines and our technologies that are now the major evolutionary forces acting upon us. It's not our political systems.

Such, such were the joys When we all, girls and boys, In our youth time were seen On the Echoing Green.