Who's going to manage (health savings accounts)?. It's not going to be your local accountant, it's going to be Fidelity.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

The eagle may soar; beavers build dams.

The US has not imposed democracy in Yemen, its people have.

The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth.

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

The government is shutting down the coal industry, they say it's cheaper to draw nuclear power off the French grid and cheaper to buy coal from Colombia.

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken!

Hang onto your humanity with all you have. Cherish it. Remember, you are the one in control of your destiny and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money.

Everything worth having comes with a trial worth withstanding

All holidays can be good times.

Every experience makes you a man.

This has been my life for many years; one role feeds the other. It is a joy to be an artist, but it doesn't mean very much unless that work is somehow useful in some way and contributes to others.

What you have to do in certain situations, that's called situational hitting.

At the same time Reverend Galamison policy is intelligent enough where he can't be used to attack me.

True nobility isn't about being better than anyone else; it's about being better than you used to be.