Ogden Nash Quotes
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One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
...I would not engage the wombatIn any form of mortal combat.
Were it not for frustration and humiliationI suppose the human race would get ideas above its station.
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?
Parsely is gharsley.
If called by a panther Don't anther.
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
In the world of mules there are no rules.
Here lies my past Goodbye I have kissed it Thank you kids I wouldn't have missed it.
Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.
He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin with a grin.
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
In the world of mulesThere are no rules.
Middle age is when you have met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else and usually is.
Here's a good rule of thumb Too clever is dumb.
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.
The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure.
Purity is obscurity.
Poets aren't very useful because they aren't consumeful or very produceful.
Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money.
Progress might have been all right once but it's gone on too long.
Middle age: when you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.
There are people who are very resourceful At being remorseful And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends Is to do something terrible and then make amends.
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.
Senescence begins And middle age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends.
Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.
Parsley is gharsley.
I am tarred and feathered with Time.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
The Bronx? No Thonx!
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.