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Ogden Nash Quotes

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Ogden Nash Quotes: "Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you."

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.




Ogden Nash Quotes: "If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work."

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat."

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely."

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.




Ogden Nash Quotes: "Happiness is having a scratch for every itch."

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long."

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "...I would not engage the wombatIn any form of mortal combat."

...I would not engage the wombatIn any form of mortal combat.




Ogden Nash Quotes: "Were it not for frustration and humiliationI suppose the human race would get ideas above its station."

Were it not for frustration and humiliationI suppose the human race would get ideas above its station.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?"

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Parsely is gharsley."

Parsely is gharsley.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "If called by a panther Don't anther."

If called by a panther Don't anther.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers."

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.




Ogden Nash Quotes: "In the world of mules there are no rules."

In the world of mules there are no rules.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Here lies my past Goodbye I have kissed it Thank you kids I wouldn't have missed it."

Here lies my past Goodbye I have kissed it Thank you kids I wouldn't have missed it.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental."

Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance."

He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin with a grin."

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin with a grin.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor."

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "In the world of mulesThere are no rules."

In the world of mulesThere are no rules.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Middle age is when you have met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else and usually is."

Middle age is when you have met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else and usually is.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Here's a good rule of thumb Too clever is dumb."

Here's a good rule of thumb Too clever is dumb.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work."

If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure."

The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Purity is obscurity."

Purity is obscurity.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Poets aren't very useful because they aren't consumeful or very produceful."

Poets aren't very useful because they aren't consumeful or very produceful.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money."

Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Progress might have been all right once but it's gone on too long."

Progress might have been all right once but it's gone on too long.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Middle age: when you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you."

Middle age: when you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore."

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech."

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "There are people who are very resourceful At being remorseful And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends Is to do something terrible and then make amends."

There are people who are very resourceful At being remorseful And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends Is to do something terrible and then make amends.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Where there is a monster, there is a miracle."

Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Senescence begins And middle age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends."

Senescence begins And middle age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor."

Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker."

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited."

Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Parsley is gharsley."

Parsley is gharsley.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "I am tarred and feathered with Time."

I am tarred and feathered with Time.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them."

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.



Ogden Nash Quotes: "The Bronx? No Thonx!"

The Bronx? No Thonx!



Ogden Nash Quotes: "There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all."

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.