When you delete pictures of your ex off your phone, it feels lighter.

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I'm a late-night guy.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

No amount of pics posted on your web, homepage, blog etc is going to change your devastated image but another humble restarts.

A dear friend of mine once told me that the only way around is through. I now live by this.

Wisdom is rooted in watching with affection the way people grow.

It wasn't quite a question. It was more of an invitation to tell him whatever I chose. Eldric game me a choice, and it was this that made me want to tell him everything.

God is the best helper, but He loves to be helped. Be earnest in prayer, but do not neglect human means. You must help yourself in all manner of ways, and then the Lord will be with you.

I don't know if there are words to describe my motivation.

OCTOBER BABY is a profoundly beautiful story and a powerful testament to the importance of every human life.

Boys like a little more booty to hold at night.

Developing a prototype early is the number one goal for our designers, or anyone else who has an idea, for that matter. We don't trust it until we can see it and feel it.

Anyone who understands Jazz knows that you can't understand it. It's too complicated. That's what's so simple about it.