When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door

The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard

It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity

If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?

Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling

If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway

I feel like every first episode of a TV show is bad, you know, and it always improves.

Humanity enveloped in entropy desperately seeking symmetry for peace of mind

Your job is not done when you have determined your goal. You must also plan for and determine how it is to be accomplished. Goals and plans are meaningless if they cannot be executed successfully!

America's foreign policy lacks the backbone to do the right thing in Afghanistan - which is leave.

I never know how to worship until I know how to love.

However dark our lot may be, there is light enough on the other side of the cloud.

Crime is a left- handed form of human endeavor.

The appearance is the allusion of abstraction when in fact I am in control of every aspect of that symmetry.

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go.

If I find a great idea, I work on it at the beginning, then bring in other people to make things work. Actually, I've always been good at getting out of work.