When in doubt, make a fool of yourself.

Dogs are us, only innocent.

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.

Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.

Infidelity is such a pretty word, so light and delicate. Whereas the act itself is dark and thick with guilt, betrayal, confusion, pain, and (okay) sometimes enormous pleasure.

Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.

A person who uses party as a verb is a person who will walk into a shop and walk out wearing a rubber jumpsuit.

Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.

we know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill.

Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores.

You can't force folks to have good sense, even if they're family. Maybe especially then.

I needed to be alone for whatever would happen. I knew that something would as certainly as if this were a last chapter.

It has become clear that the function of a private health insurance is to make as much money as possible. Every dollar not paid out in claims is another dollar made in profits for the company.

A guy should find out what the woman likes. Every woman is different, so you can't just assume what works on one will work on another.

About myself - no. I'm unimportant, an observer, a wandering animal.

Be bold, be courageous, be your best.

It is my rather subversive opinion that a writer's feelings of anonymity-obscurity are the second most valuable property on loan to him during his working years.

Shortly after this, I placed my command on our extreme left, to watch and fight the enemy should he make another attack, and went to Cemetary Hill for observation.

Ther's still a few honest folks left but they never seem t' find anything you lose.

I am not the sort of woman who would wear high heels with a bathing suit. Let's get that straight right now.