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Cynthia Heimel Quotes

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Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?"

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?




Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth."

There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.




Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame."

Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Infidelity is such a pretty word, so light and delicate. Whereas the act itself is dark and thick with guilt, betrayal, confusion, pain, and (okay) sometimes enormous pleasure."

Infidelity is such a pretty word, so light and delicate. Whereas the act itself is dark and thick with guilt, betrayal, confusion, pain, and (okay) sometimes enormous pleasure.




Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people."

Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "A person who uses party as a verb is a person who will walk into a shop and walk out wearing a rubber jumpsuit."

A person who uses party as a verb is a person who will walk into a shop and walk out wearing a rubber jumpsuit.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families."

Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.




Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores."

Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "we know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill."

we know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "The only women who don't believe that sexual harassment is a real problem in this country are women who have never been in the workplace."

The only women who don't believe that sexual harassment is a real problem in this country are women who have never been in the workplace.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Pity the poor infant. Born perfect into the world from imperfect parents."

Pity the poor infant. Born perfect into the world from imperfect parents.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "A sense of humor isn't everything. It's only 90 percent of everything."

A sense of humor isn't everything. It's only 90 percent of everything.




Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "When in doubt, make a fool of yourself."

When in doubt, make a fool of yourself.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces."

Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "The media know exactly what they're doing, focusing our attention on Arsenio's hairdo. We need to keep our brains brimming with rubbish. If we didn't, we might think about things."

The media know exactly what they're doing, focusing our attention on Arsenio's hairdo. We need to keep our brains brimming with rubbish. If we didn't, we might think about things.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "With dogs, you don't need gurus. Dogs are forever in the moment. They are always a tidal wave of feelings, and every feeling is some variant of love."

With dogs, you don't need gurus. Dogs are forever in the moment. They are always a tidal wave of feelings, and every feeling is some variant of love.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others."

All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Women are not ladies. The term connotates females who are simultaneously put on a pedestal and patronized."

Women are not ladies. The term connotates females who are simultaneously put on a pedestal and patronized.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Homework, root canals, and deadlines are the important things in life, and only when we have these major dramas taken care of can we presume to look at the larger questions."

Homework, root canals, and deadlines are the important things in life, and only when we have these major dramas taken care of can we presume to look at the larger questions.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "The country is suffering from musical-chairs syndrome. We all dance around for a bit and then when we try to sit down again, somebody doesn't have a chair. We're running scared; we want ours."

The country is suffering from musical-chairs syndrome. We all dance around for a bit and then when we try to sit down again, somebody doesn't have a chair. We're running scared; we want ours.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Dogs and humans are symbiotic species. We need each other."

Dogs and humans are symbiotic species. We need each other.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "When women are excited about a date, they go immediately on a diet, because all women know they are hideously obese."

When women are excited about a date, they go immediately on a diet, because all women know they are hideously obese.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons."

Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Possessions, for the terminally frightened, bring peace of mind."

Possessions, for the terminally frightened, bring peace of mind.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Lots of you know me as a lone, hard-bitten columnist, prone to lurking on deserted rocky promontories while searching for my muse."

Lots of you know me as a lone, hard-bitten columnist, prone to lurking on deserted rocky promontories while searching for my muse.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "it is a shoe designer's job to be a year ahead of our collective unconscious."

it is a shoe designer's job to be a year ahead of our collective unconscious.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "It seems to me, correct me if I'm wrong, that there are an awful lot of people in Manhattan. And it's getting worse."

It seems to me, correct me if I'm wrong, that there are an awful lot of people in Manhattan. And it's getting worse.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Enough about you let's hear about me."

Enough about you let's hear about me.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "[On her dogs:] I have four now. My friends tell me if I get any more they'll have to hold an intervention."

[On her dogs:] I have four now. My friends tell me if I get any more they'll have to hold an intervention.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "a car is just a moving, giant handbag! You never have actually to carry groceries, or dry cleaning, or anything! You can have five pairs of shoes with you at all times!"

a car is just a moving, giant handbag! You never have actually to carry groceries, or dry cleaning, or anything! You can have five pairs of shoes with you at all times!



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Men, being conditioned badly, are always feeling nooses closing around their necks, even dumpy boors no girl would take on a bet."

Men, being conditioned badly, are always feeling nooses closing around their necks, even dumpy boors no girl would take on a bet.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Not one woman over seventeen has any faith in her skin tone, and no woman over thirty can ever regard her upper arms with equanimity."

Not one woman over seventeen has any faith in her skin tone, and no woman over thirty can ever regard her upper arms with equanimity.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk."

A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "You can't take away knowledge, and it's dangerous to pretend you never had it."

You can't take away knowledge, and it's dangerous to pretend you never had it.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Here is Heimel's Law: Anything you fantasize about won't come true. So just cut it out."

Here is Heimel's Law: Anything you fantasize about won't come true. So just cut it out.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing."

Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "When in doubt make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell leap."

When in doubt make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell leap.



Cynthia Heimel Quotes: "You never get anywhere until you figure out the difference between passion and compassion."

You never get anywhere until you figure out the difference between passion and compassion.