This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.

The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?

It's lies. It's all lies. Some of them are just prettier than others, that's all. People see what they think is there.

It's not lying when you do it to officers!

Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?

There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the word... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.

Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!

Maladict had hallucinations, but Wazzer had a certainty you could bend steel around. It was the opposite of a hallucination, somehow. It was as if she could see what was real and you couldn't.

Ankh-Morpork is a godless city--''I thought it had more than three hundred places of worship?' said Maladict. city', he recovered.

A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman

In search of that beat that my heart skipped when I first saw your beautiful soul...

Many people today don't want honest answers insofar as honest means unpleasant or disturbing. They want a soft answer that turneth away anxiety.

Social standing does not necessarily translate to social acceptance.

The company ... has no rights to survive. But value systems and philosophies survive. People take them with them

Ethics is not just an abstract intellectual discipline. It is about the conflicts that arise in trying to meet real human needs and values.

Children, as I have said, use back ways and hidden paths, while adults take roads and official paths.

[Swiss Armi Man] was a super joyful film to go make. I mean, there was stuff that was, like, totally bananas. But it was kind of par for the course every day with that stuff.

Every man's Reason is sufficient for his guidance, if used.

Mandates are rarely won on election night. They are earned after Inauguration Day by leaders who spend their political capital wisely, taking advantage of events without overreaching.

Our bills shall not be killed.