It's not lying when you do it to officers!

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.

The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?

It's lies. It's all lies. Some of them are just prettier than others, that's all. People see what they think is there.

Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?

This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.

There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the word... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.

Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!

Maladict had hallucinations, but Wazzer had a certainty you could bend steel around. It was the opposite of a hallucination, somehow. It was as if she could see what was real and you couldn't.

Ankh-Morpork is a godless city--''I thought it had more than three hundred places of worship?' said Maladict. city', he recovered.

A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman

It is the most fundamental thing I know about being alive: Everything that lasts is invention followed by tenacious faith.

Laws of attraction could build a strong relationship among married couples or friends.

Outside, the dogs whine over the wind. They sense the wolves - they sense the wild. It calls to them, like it calls to me, and I wonder sometimes if we are the only ones who hear it.

To know how to say what others only know how to think is what makes men poets or sages and to dare to say what others only dare to think makes men martyrs or reformers-or both.

In my opinion and experience, imperialists of all nations and races will tell us anything to keep us fighting. For them.

I'm starting to teach now: I teach in the graduate film program at NYU and next year I'm going to be teaching at Los Angeles at the film program and English program at UCLA.

I've never believed in seeking perfection at the risk of losing everything.

Every girl is beautiful, it's society that's ugly.

Falling in love you remain a child; rising in love you mature. By and by love becomes not a relationship, it becomes a state of your being. Not that you are in love - now you are love.

I stated at Justice [John] Roberts' hearing, the court's injected itself into many of the political debates of our day.