They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

The heart aches in brokenness as daylight awakens the pain of knowing.

I'm the Ted Bundy of string theory.

I know not by what power I am drawn to you, but it is as a moth is drawn to the flame, and I cannot fight it, I must be consumed.

You love what you do, you are cursed with it, and then you get known for being cursed with it

Lookin' back is a bad habit.

I think I am incredibly generous with how much I give to my projects, but that's my generosity with the job.

The genres are widening. I don't think that there's as many limitations on the kinds of projects that actors can do as there once was.

All traditions are also full of meanness for the sake of meanness.

I think my own bias is that there may be something wrong with the timing and the connectivity between regions rather than pointing to one particular spot in the brain.

Rock music pays off. Rock music takes me on a joyride. Rock music keeps me off the hell city bus. Rock music will always look out for me. But I will not let my torture profanity demon shoot it down.