There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.

Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.

Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree.

A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul.

Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well.

Booze and boys, ain't nothing in the universe that'll make a girl stupid faster.

Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.

Some men are warriors and some men are weenies. The trick is figuring out which is which.

Maybe life does suck, Pork Chop, but it beats the hell out of the alternative.

Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.

You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart.

Find someone who loves you more than you love them.

We are preoccupied with time. If we could learn to love space as deeply as we are now obsessed with time, we might discover a new meaning in the phrase 'to live like men.

Family is the place where acceptance and validation are most needed, but often the hardest to find.

Even our pets can become idols.

I am conversational - I just like to engage and talk about things.

No man need stay the way he is.

Always knowing you're going to die And until then knowing you've got to live.

The great events of the world take place in the brain.

Nothing can help me but that beauty. There was a dawn I remember when my soul heard something from your soul. I drank water from your spring and felt the current take me.

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife.