Maybe life does suck, Pork Chop, but it beats the hell out of the alternative.

Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.

Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree.

A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul.

Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well.

Booze and boys, ain't nothing in the universe that'll make a girl stupid faster.

Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.

Some men are warriors and some men are weenies. The trick is figuring out which is which.

Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.

There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.

You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart.

If you are not serious, people will sense it.

Often the only thing a child can remember about an adult in later years, when he or she is grown, is whether or not that person was kind to him or her.

One of my favorite movies of all time is Fargo.

Travel not only stirs the blood. . . It also gives strength to the spirit.

Six million Jews died in concentration camps, but six billion broiler chickens will die this year in slaughter houses.

Men always liked me, because I was very damaged and unpredictable, my children's father claims that I have multiple personalities, but I don't.

I just don't feel like - I've never felt like - part of the entertainment industry. I still just feel like I'm trying to work my way in. And that's weird.

People see your reviews sometimes, and it's so good that they think I wrote it. And I'm like, "OK, yeah, I wrote it. And I own the company that put it out."

I shall never know God if I do not wrestle with and against evil, even at the cost of life itself.

I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!