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Humourous Quotes

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Humourous Quotes: "Ever Tried. Ever Failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."

Ever Tried. Ever Failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.




Humourous Quotes: "Men from children nothing differ."

Men from children nothing differ.



Humourous Quotes: "What we’ve got here is a lunatic genius ghost-in-the-computer monorail that likes riddles and goes faster than the speed of sound. Welcome to the fantasy version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest."

What we’ve got here is a lunatic genius ghost-in-the-computer monorail that likes riddles and goes faster than the speed of sound. Welcome to the fantasy version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.



Humourous Quotes: "There are some things you just don't say...not even in a school!"

There are some things you just don't say...not even in a school!




Humourous Quotes: "Special Post-Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Eating Crow" This year, it just tastes like Seahawk."

Special Post-Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Eating Crow" This year, it just tastes like Seahawk.



Humourous Quotes: "Men like to borrow kisses because they know they will have to pay them back."

Men like to borrow kisses because they know they will have to pay them back.



Humourous Quotes: "Fat men take a cushion with them wherever they go."

Fat men take a cushion with them wherever they go.




Humourous Quotes: "Anything can happen in love, war and South Inidan movies."

Anything can happen in love, war and South Inidan movies.



Humourous Quotes: "Yesterday I bought myself a new, very sharp kitchen knife.And I managed to cut my finger within 5 minutes of getting home!Those plastic packages are bloody dangerous!!!"

Yesterday I bought myself a new, very sharp kitchen knife.And I managed to cut my finger within 5 minutes of getting home!Those plastic packages are bloody dangerous!!!



Humourous Quotes: "Never worry about what you say to a man. They're so conceited that they never believe you mean it if it's unflattering.”-Caroline to Ursual."

Never worry about what you say to a man. They're so conceited that they never believe you mean it if it's unflattering.”-Caroline to Ursual.



Humourous Quotes: "The only way to see everything, my dear, is to see it absolutely."

The only way to see everything, my dear, is to see it absolutely.



Humourous Quotes: "True friends chop the onions and cry together."

True friends chop the onions and cry together.




Humourous Quotes: "One can hardly do anything productive when one knows there is cake in the fridge."

One can hardly do anything productive when one knows there is cake in the fridge.



Humourous Quotes: "I've nothing against people. Just a***oles. But then, most people are."

I've nothing against people. Just a***oles. But then, most people are.



Humourous Quotes: "Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Patriot Act" In theater and football, it's the last act before it's curtains for Seahawks opponents."

Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Patriot Act" In theater and football, it's the last act before it's curtains for Seahawks opponents.



Humourous Quotes: "What did the soup say to the tea plate? "You're too shallow for me. I like deep dish to dip right into!" I still keep my British humour in good taste. No room for egos or rumours."

What did the soup say to the tea plate? "You're too shallow for me. I like deep dish to dip right into!" I still keep my British humour in good taste. No room for egos or rumours.



Humourous Quotes: "There is nothing more American than buying a Japanese car on the 4th of July"

There is nothing more American than buying a Japanese car on the 4th of July



Humourous Quotes: "He’d reached that perilous stage of being drunk enough to think himself a good dancer… but was dangerously close in tipping over to the point where he’d act like an arse"

He’d reached that perilous stage of being drunk enough to think himself a good dancer… but was dangerously close in tipping over to the point where he’d act like an arse



Humourous Quotes: "I've had quite enough danger for a while I think. I might have some more when I'm thirteen, but definitely not before then..."

I've had quite enough danger for a while I think. I might have some more when I'm thirteen, but definitely not before then...



Humourous Quotes: "...food was at least three million per cent more delicious when you ate it immediately after thinking you were going to die."

...food was at least three million per cent more delicious when you ate it immediately after thinking you were going to die.



Humourous Quotes: "I believe in the 20/80 rule. That's where working an extra 20% faster, harder, or smarter gets you an extra 80% of the rewards."

I believe in the 20/80 rule. That's where working an extra 20% faster, harder, or smarter gets you an extra 80% of the rewards.



Humourous Quotes: "Honestly I don't know why i have these parties""Because of your cat""That's true. Chairman Meow deserves my every effort"

Honestly I don't know why i have these parties""Because of your cat""That's true. Chairman Meow deserves my every effort




Humourous Quotes: "Patrick Kenzie asking a bemused waitress for a newspaper in smalltown USA. 'It’s like a homepage without a scroll button?"

Patrick Kenzie asking a bemused waitress for a newspaper in smalltown USA. 'It’s like a homepage without a scroll button?



Humourous Quotes: "People can't really sympathize with you properly when you've woken them up"

People can't really sympathize with you properly when you've woken them up



Humourous Quotes: "I do not want to sound cynical or condescending, but your lips are moving, your mind unbending."

I do not want to sound cynical or condescending, but your lips are moving, your mind unbending.



Humourous Quotes: "The decker these ***holes brought with them is top tier, but I'm going to stomp his jelly beans so hard his kids will be born crooked."

The decker these ***holes brought with them is top tier, but I'm going to stomp his jelly beans so hard his kids will be born crooked.



Humourous Quotes: "There's nothing like a headless corpse to bring a touch of excitement into one's life."

There's nothing like a headless corpse to bring a touch of excitement into one's life.



Humourous Quotes: "Many feel that writers are a dime a dozen, so the goal is to break through and make it to the value of a penny."

Many feel that writers are a dime a dozen, so the goal is to break through and make it to the value of a penny.



Humourous Quotes: "Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT."

Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.



Humourous Quotes: "Jihadis! Please go to your imaginary heaven - out there, nowhere. Us, the infidel lot, have helluva lot to do after you leave. Out here."

Jihadis! Please go to your imaginary heaven - out there, nowhere. Us, the infidel lot, have helluva lot to do after you leave. Out here.



Humourous Quotes: "We're famous" iggy whispered so low that Fang could barely hear him."So's Swine Flu" Fang whispered back."

We're famous" iggy whispered so low that Fang could barely hear him."So's Swine Flu" Fang whispered back.



Humourous Quotes: "So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes."

So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.



Humourous Quotes: "Words can be meaningless. If they are used in such a way that no sharp conclusions can be drawn."

Words can be meaningless. If they are used in such a way that no sharp conclusions can be drawn.



Humourous Quotes: "You can't draw lines in the sand like that. Humour's a tsunami that doesn't care about your little lines."

You can't draw lines in the sand like that. Humour's a tsunami that doesn't care about your little lines.



Humourous Quotes: "Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."

Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.



Humourous Quotes: "I think I’ll give the Cage of Death a miss too, ” I said. Crocodiles were fascinating creatures, like living dinosaurs, but they could do their living over there somewhere, far away from me."

I think I’ll give the Cage of Death a miss too, ” I said. Crocodiles were fascinating creatures, like living dinosaurs, but they could do their living over there somewhere, far away from me.



Humourous Quotes: "Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags."

Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags.



Humourous Quotes: "Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?"

Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?



Humourous Quotes: "You are not a murderer. I find it difficult to think of that as a personality flaw."

You are not a murderer. I find it difficult to think of that as a personality flaw.



Humourous Quotes: "If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for."

If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.



Humourous Quotes: "Children throw tantrums because they've imagined their 'father in heaven' does so. And because, their inherited religious book has, in written, shown them so."

Children throw tantrums because they've imagined their 'father in heaven' does so. And because, their inherited religious book has, in written, shown them so.



Humourous Quotes: "Monkeying around with other apes, a monkey was made - called, HUMAN. God is great!"

Monkeying around with other apes, a monkey was made - called, HUMAN. God is great!



Humourous Quotes: "Whenever I wish to pay my respect to you, my middle finger says, it must first."

Whenever I wish to pay my respect to you, my middle finger says, it must first.



Humourous Quotes: "I wish you well - if you will die. May you rest in peace."

I wish you well - if you will die. May you rest in peace.



Humourous Quotes: "I never knew, apes talk. Apparently, you do."

I never knew, apes talk. Apparently, you do.



Humourous Quotes: "Help yourself with the state! It's on democracy!"

Help yourself with the state! It's on democracy!



Humourous Quotes: "If I were married, I would be unmarried."

If I were married, I would be unmarried.



Humourous Quotes: "Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court."

Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court.