The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

Be happy today, let the past bury and let the future fly.

Killing animals to make a fashion statement = a sickening + cold-blooded vanity.

One in whose head is conceit, Think not that he will ever listen to truth.

A lot of money eliminates a category of worry. If your car breaks down, youre still going to get through the day. But it doesnt make you a happy person if you werent a happy person before.

If we accept, as we must, the theory of the indestructibility of matter, no less must we accept the indestructibility of the spirit with which matter is informed.

For example, if I make money, I put it in real estate. I always did very well. Location, location, location.

Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race.

I never aspired to be 2nd. I was taught... you can do whatever you want in this world, so why not be the best in the world?

I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there?