The good news is hopeful doesn't mean dumb. The bad news is cynical doesn't mean smart.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

Far, far below the deepest delvings of the dwarves, the world is gnawed by nameless things.

The greatest love that you could ever experience on earth is the one that only comes from you to you.

Girls are always at their best smiling.

Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.

Heredity: the traits that a disobedient child gets from the other parent.

Work whatever tools you may have at your command and better tools will be found as you go along.

Cultivate the technique of seeing all problems as opportunities. Opportunities to...be, and decide, Who You Really Are.

Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy.

* We have come this far always believing that justice would somehow prevail. This is the burden, this is the promise, and THIS is why we will not fail.

You never know when a helping hand will change another person's entire life.