I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.

Genuine awe connects us with the world in a new way.

We can only recreate ourselves with renewal of our mind.

After my study of today's church, my conclusion is that the church is politely bored with God.

Marie Curie is, of all celebrated beings, the only one whom fame has not corrupted.

Before I go on stage, I knock three times. Three is my lucky number; I once went into an audition and was number 333 and got the best part ever.

We will make love an art and we will love like artists.

I have tried my best to keep my country alive by writing about it.

You know, what we do know is that there is a high frequency of violence in the home of those who bully.

I'll take 14 out of 15 any day of the week, any week of the month, any month of the year, any year of the century. I don't know what comes after century.

I may be able to put a good book tape on in the car on the way home and I will have a smile on my face.