Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.

One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.

A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don't like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.

Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.

Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.

I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.

To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living.

Whenever it comes to love, Remember the part about having confidence.

Satisfaction of one's curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.Linus Pauling

But I don't think of you. - Howard Roark

There's a lot of maintenance that goes into being a professional singer.

Well, I never really practiced because I never had the opportunity to practice.

You need to play to win. But you also need to win ... to play.

There is only one thing infamous in love, and that is a falsehood.

One of the uncovenanted benefits of living for a long time is that, having so many more dead than living friends, death can appear as a step backwards into the joyous past.

Never can a reforming sect survive if it is only reforming; the formative elements alone - the real impulse, that is, the principles - live on and on.