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Jackie Gleason Quotes

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Jackie Gleason Quotes: "The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it."

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it."

If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.




Jackie Gleason Quotes: "Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable."

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy."

Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.




Jackie Gleason Quotes: "Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at."

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don't like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges."

A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don't like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us."

Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.




Jackie Gleason Quotes: "Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse."

Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings."

I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle."

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "I have a 'Play The Melody' philosophy. It means don't over arrange, don't make life difficult. Just play the melody-and do it the simplest way possible."

I have a 'Play The Melody' philosophy. It means don't over arrange, don't make life difficult. Just play the melody-and do it the simplest way possible.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch."

The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch.




Jackie Gleason Quotes: "Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged."

Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love."

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "I have no use for humility. I am a fellow with an exceptional talent."

I have no use for humility. I am a fellow with an exceptional talent.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "It is difficult for people to appreciate their own laughter unless you show them some pathos along the way."

It is difficult for people to appreciate their own laughter unless you show them some pathos along the way.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl."

Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini."

A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "The worst thing you can do with money is save it."

The worst thing you can do with money is save it.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "I only made $200 a week and I had to buy my own bullets."

I only made $200 a week and I had to buy my own bullets.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "The best part of you ran down your mother's legs."

The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "The Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the world!"

The Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the world!



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls."

Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged."

I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "I always knew what I was doing."

I always knew what I was doing.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "I didn't have things as a child, and I was determined to get them."

I didn't have things as a child, and I was determined to get them.



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "How sweet it is!"

How sweet it is!



Jackie Gleason Quotes: "Thin people are beautiful but fat people are adorable."

Thin people are beautiful but fat people are adorable.