Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt.

Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.

Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree.

A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul.

Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well.

Booze and boys, ain't nothing in the universe that'll make a girl stupid faster.

Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.

Some men are warriors and some men are weenies. The trick is figuring out which is which.

Maybe life does suck, Pork Chop, but it beats the hell out of the alternative.

Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.

There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.

If we contest with a lesser opponent, we reduce ourselves, and in the process wind up being lesser accomplished.

I'd love to be a writer one day

When they were being blessed, there was no limit-now I am blessing others- I am giving too much!!

I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

Many times I sit back and say, 'I can't believe that this is my life!' Other times, I feel self-satisfied. I mean, there's a lot to be proud and thankful for but, nonetheless, it's just a life!

If zipper catches skin, I'll know I had it out when I should a kept it in.

He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own.

A successful marriage isn't necessarily one that lasts until you're dead.

I love blogging, even though apparently it's still dying, and hate it when I have too much going on to do so regularly.

Let me tell you, very frankly, when I went to the Harvard Business School I was more or less a committed socialist.