Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

YOU are the big drop of dew under the lotus leaf, I am the smaller one on its upper side, 'said the dewdrop to the lake.

Dear Government... I'm going to have a serious talk with you if I ever find anyone to talk to.

Self-complacency is fatal to progress.

It's fun to have a partner who understands your life and lets you be you.

How can we explain the perpetuity of envy--a vice which yields no return?

As I get older, I fear aging less because I realize it's the inevitable, but I definitely have a slight fear of aging.

If I had more time, I would have written less.

If people can understand the Lord's message in Bhagavad-gita, they can become truly happy.

What are you? An after school special?

Saint George and the Dragon!-Bonny Saint George for Merry England!-The castle is won!