Waiter Quotes

Waiter Quote of the day

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

If you wait for inspiration to write you're not a writer, you're a waiter.

I never taste the wine first in restaurants, I just ask the waiter to pour.

When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."

I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours." I asked why and he said: "It keeps turning off the gas."

The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.

The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a damn good head waiter.

A man needs to be polite, not just to me but to everyone. I watch that. How does he treat the waiter? How does he treat the coat-check girl? How does he treat the driver?

I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress.

A good setter is like a waiter.

Well, isn't Bohemia a place where everyone is as good as everyone else - and must not a waiter be a little less than a waiter to be a good Bohemian?

When I was a waiter, I wanted to be the best waiter I could be and worked to be better at it every day.

I'm an assistant storyteller. It's like being a waiter or a gas-station attendant, but I'm waiting on six million people a week, if I'm lucky.

A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.

A diplomat these days is nothing but a head waiter who's allowed to sit down occasionally.

If you wait for inspiration, you're not a writer, but a waiter.

I like it when the waiter askes you if you want parmesan cheese on your dinner, yeah, give me essence of puke all over me tea!

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

Insanity hovered close at hand, like an eager waiter at an expensive restaurant.

Worship is first and foremost a feasting on all that God is for us in Jesus... [One] in which God is the host, the cook, the waiter, and the meal itself.

A diner having a row with a waiter in a swanky restaurant chills the blood in a way that a quarrel over a pizza order elsewhere would never do. Compassion is rarely the custom of the privileged.

There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again.

How someone treats a waiter or doorman can tell you so much about a person.

To go to the Oscars for 'Moneyball' - that was pretty amazing.

I met my first midget in Mexico, and he was a waiter with a sombrero on his head, filled with chips and salsa. Like I was gonna let that guy get away - I don't think so.

Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

I was working in restaurants as a captain and as a waiter.

Waiters are like hookers, never around when you want them.

It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.

I'm like a waiter and you something like a hater with trays in both hands, place an order I can cater.

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'

Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers.

I have tipped waiters, and I have been tipped by waiters.

I wanna try being a waiter at restaurant or work to introduce Korea to other people!

I don't like Switzerland; it has produced nothing but theologians and waiters.

Tyler gets me a job as a waiter, after that Tyler's pushing a gun in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life is you have to die.

I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food

At present every coachman and every waiter argues about whether or not the relativity theory is correct.

[To waiter who had spilled soup on her:] Never darken my Dior again!

From being a waiter, to a door-to-door salesman, to a car-washer, to a delivery boy - I have done it all.

I went to a restaurant the other day called 'Taste of the Raj.' The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system.

I don't consider myself an actor, for me it's employment. Like the actor who's a waiter a lot, I'm an actor when I'm not on tour, in that that's a job I can do.

Robert Whitmore died of apoplexy when a stranger from Georgia mistook him for a former Macon waiter.

Talk is a pure art. Its only limits are the patience of listeners who, when they get tired, can always pay for their coffee or change it with a friendly waiter and walk out.

I was an actor in college and it was much easier than being a waiter. I thought it was fun to get paid. People were not exactly surprised to see me going in the field.

In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.

The really good thing about my career is that I never went through a phase where I played characters who had names like "Partygoer," "Waiter," or "Guy #1."

Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".