Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

In the end the soul is itself the longing of the soulless for salvation.

To succeed, we have to be the party of change, we have to root out corruption in our own ranks and we have to be the party of solutions.

I completely appreciate the importance of fathers but millions of children are without loving homes. I think a child is lucky with one parent who truly loves her.

[Belafonte]'d take me to perform for Martin Luther King's cause. But when they were marching I did not take part, because I was not a citizen

A self-respecting artist must not fold his hands on the pretext that he is not in the mood.

The truth is we have nothing to fear and nothing to overcome because He is all in all and we are more than conquerors through Him.

I don't care if I never see Texas again.

For years, I thought I simply didn't dream. I felt left out. Everybody else had a thing I didn't have.

I want to appreciate you without judging. Join you without invading. Invite you without demanding. Leave you without guilt.

A tale should be judicious, clear, succinct; The language plain, and incidents well link'd; Tell not as new what ev'ry body knows; and, new or old, still hasten to a close.