Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

If your tears have lost the ability to hide your pain... why shedding them?

I don't like poetry that just slaps violent words on a canvas, as it were.

No one can keep from aging, but there is no need to grow old.

I, like most of my friends, couldn't believe I bought a mountain called Misery Mountain, because it was so appropriate.

I'm a very vicious critic of myself.

We bear the consequences for what we have done to ourselves, and for the sin that rules this world. Jesus forgave the thief, but he didn't take him down off the cross.

I started working occasionally for my father when I was around six. The first skill I learned was how to join a plug to a wire.

Young kids out here see what's on TV and feel like they can start rapping. They think rappers are rich and really have their own jets and Bentleys, but in lot of cases that stuff is rented.

Drive out Nature with a fork, she comes running back.

I have a personal motto that I live by, which is feel the fear and do it anyway. If you fail, you get up and you keep trying again.