Oh, is that what's in the box? You threw my engagement ring at me?

If you're looking for Mr. Perfect, you‟re going to spend your whole life being disappointed, because he doesn‟t exist. You have to get the best deal you can, but there will always be problems.

I have a real low tolerance for parasites, and you're so close to the limit that I'm already reaching for the flea powder.

A village somewhere was missing it's idiot.

Sign by elevator put up by computer geeks in office building: REMEMBER: FIRST YOU PILAGE, THEN YOU BURN. THOSE WHO DO NOT COMPLY WILL BE SUSPENDED FROM THE RAIDING TEAM. In Mr Perfect

Women were always complications, bless their perverse little hearts.

Pleasure was a siren, luring her to experience more

I'm not holding you against your will; I'm holding you against your car.

If death turned out to be a lack of being rather than a lack of consciousness, well, then, that sucked.

Don’t kiss me,” she said warningly. “I don’t intend to,” he replied, smiling a little. “I don’t have my whip and chair with me.

He needed a woman. Bad.

Don't give up the fight. Don't dim out the light. Those who at first don't believe in you, will soon begin to ask you "how did you do it?” Keep it up!

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

The one who cannot restrain their anger will wish undone, what their temper and irritation prompted them to do.

I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'

Intuition is perception via the unconscious that brings forth ideas, images, new possibilities and ways out of blocked situations.

Even though I don't sing any more, singing was my first education in the arts, and it's clear to me that my training as a musician also shaped me as a writer.

This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.

One of the applications of Big Data is giving people the facts, and getting them to understand that their own decision-making is not perfect. And that in itself causes them to change their behavior

The inability to forget is far more devastating than the inability to remember.

We Love Water. We Thank Water. We Respect Water. We Are All Water. We Are All One.