Adam Sandler Quotes

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue.

I know I want to always do the best I can.

I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.

When the kids are laughing in the audience, I tear up, I'm so happy I did a nice thing.

I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.

We just bought this house. It's too big. It's like 400,000 square feet, or something. We got an indoor lake and ski slope in the house! It's just too big.

Well I have a microphone and you don't so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!

I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'

My buddies, we've always just tried to make each other laugh. I mean, just like all friends hanging out - that's the goal.

I do love the films I've done in the past. I work hard in my movies and my friends work hard and we're trying to make people laugh and I'm very proud of that.

I sang a song at my sister's wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right.

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles.

Sometimes you can't prioritise family and you feel guilty.

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

It's important I surround myself with people who make me happy.

I don't want to run around with new people. I feel safer with my friends.

Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises' manhood. It was like, I can be strong, too!

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

You've just got to give yourself time - that's good advice I think. Give yourself time to figure out what you're good at and what you're not good at.

With the amount of money I have, it's difficult raising children the way I was raised.

When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I'd get so panicked that I would stutter.

Put on your yarmulkahHere comes HannukahSo much funnukahTo celebrate Hannukah

I say things, like every other parent, that reminds you of your own parents. One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.

I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages. That's a lot of coloring when you think about it.

I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.

I still like some of the stuff, skateboarding. Just stupid things.

I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in.

I think the reason I don't read is because, when I'm reading, I feel like I'm missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where's my girlfriend?

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

Girls are soft and pretty.

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

I do want children. I study dads more. I watch what they go through. I admire my father more than I ever did and my brother and my sister.

I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff.

I still get very scared when I step in front of a live audience.

I can't run a company... I can't even run my own life!

I never had a speech from my father 'this is what you must do or shouldn't do' but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn't perfect.

Now that I'm a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.

Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.

How do I speak Spanish? Not too well.

Comedy, such a lovely lady, she'll pick you up, you your feeling blue.