Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

You have to have some level of attachment, you can still have passion and believe but it has to be softened somewhat.

What do we mean by saying that existence precedes essence? We mean that man first of all exists, encounters himself, surges up in the world-and defines himself afterward.

When opportunity comes, it’s too late to prepare.

When there is a fight of reason versus emotion and the mind wonders which one to follow, in most times, emotion wins over reason. But it is reason that should win and emotion shouldn't.

I may not have all the time I thought I had.

There would be no bohemia without smoking.

Unless there's a personal transformation, there can be no social transformation.

Clutter is not a property of information. Clutter is a failure of design.

Carbs - especially pasta - are the fuel my body needs to maintain an athletic lifestyle.

Food is a passion because I basically grew up in a kitchen. My mother was a gourmet chef and I'm the youngest of five kids. We would always congregate in the kitchen.

The one you fight with the most is always the one who’s most like you.