We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

You have to have some level of attachment, you can still have passion and believe but it has to be softened somewhat.

He hasn’t really seen you, not as you want to be seen, but he’s starting to, a little.

Right foot, left foot, right foot, breathe.

The world is not a rational place.

Silence may be golden, but can you think of a better way to entertain someone than to listen to him?

Let every man consider virtue as what devolves on himself. He may not yield the performance of it even to his teacher.

Some types of nothing are more fun than other types of nothing.

The power of choice. You have it. But you forfeit it when you imagine that you can choose for others. You can't. But you can choose for yourself.

What do dreams know of boundaries?

One of these days, I'm going to publish a book of all the pictures I did not take.

I love the Miami atmosphere.