Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

She told a story of being so fixated on the beautiful features of a playmate that she collided with a tree and skinned her own face.

Compassion is born from understanding suffering. We all should learn to embrace our own suffering, to listen to it deeply, and to have a deep look into its nature.

I knew you were in charge of me but my mind broke on its own.

Factions are a sign of illness in a party.

To the question, What shall we do to be saved in this World? there is no other answer but this, Look to your Moat.

The Elizabethan age might be better named the beginning of the smoking era.

When people don't know what you are, you get your heart broken daily.

Before the deed comes the thought. Before the achievement comes the dream. Every mountain we climb, we first climb in our mind.

It is our first duty to serve society.

Just because I can't change everything, doesn't mean I shouldn't try to change anything at all.