Nobody is going to try to confiscate guns, although some Web sites know better: President Obama, they are certain, wants to.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

The thrust of continuous action is the firewood which fuels motivation.

Oh, go ahead and giggle, " Lady Danbury sighed. "I've found that the only way to avoid parental frustration is to view him as a source of amusement.

Policy was not reconsidered because the governing group had no habit of purposeful consultation.

Keep your hand moving. (Don’t pause to reread the line you have just written. That’s stalling and trying to get control of what you’re saying.)

The twentieth century belongs to Canada.

A canter is the cure for all evil.

The actor doesn't merely command the stage, he seems to own it by divine right.

In few people is discretion stronger than the desire to tell a good story.

Anger and desire for revenge can be a great motivating force. It's either that or you allow it to affect your confidence and that can be crippling.

Sometimes you need to go on a low-information diet.