Newt Gingrich wants to repeal child labor laws. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the man that we need to lead us into the 18th century.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

How long have you been with Raphael?”“You ask a lot of questions for a dead woman.”“What can I say? I prefer to die well-informed.”-Venom and Elena

Learning does not make one learned: there are those who have knowledge and those who have understanding. The first requires memory and the second philosophy

Nations have come under the control of haters and fools.

People are learning to grasp the diversity of nature, to understand its unifying principles and to sweep away the hierarchies and see the real connections.

No Queen with a frozen heart is fit to rule any country.

I was having serious issues with becoming a diabetic.

Children who played outside every day, regrdless of weather, had better motor coordination and more ability to concentrate.

New is a word for fools in towns who think Style upon style in dress and thought at last Must get somewhere.

Tree limbs rise and fall like the ecstatic arms of those who have submitted to the mystical life. Leaf sounds talk together like poets making fresh metaphors.

Technically he is perfect and he plays so naturally, almost without effort. It's like when Roger Federer plays tennis, he barely sweats.