Men like cars women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Please God, please suh, don't let him love nobody else but me. Maybe Ah'm is uh fool, Lawd, lak dey say, but Lawd, Ah been so lonesome, and Ah been waitin', Jesus. Ah done waited uh long time.

What good does it do a black youth to know that an employer must pay him $2 an hour if the fact that he must be paid that amount is what keeps him from getting a job?

When fear meets fear nothing good every happens.

To convert an hourly wage to an approximate yearly salary double the wage and change the decimal to a comma.

Science makes no pretension to eternal truth or absolute truth.

Well of course Bush got Kentucky, because it's a Republican city.

The 'ER' role was not Asian-specific, and my agent knew that I loved the show.

I watch the Food Network with my kids. We - yeah, I - I - I generally don't admit that, but I love cooking.

In the ending the king is a powerful piece for assisting his own pawns, or stopping the adverse pawns.

Holy, fair, and wise is she; The heaven such grace did lend her, That she might admired be.