Men have better self-images than women. You know what I've never seen in a men's magazine? A makeover.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

The worldly life means a puzzle of ‘wrong beliefs’.

..So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 1 Corinthians 3:7

The whole trial seemed surreal.

If I love a song, I make it mine.

people will tell you were they have gone, they'll tell you where to go, but until you get there for yourself you never really know.

Individuals who deliberately decide not to take offense lead happier, more productive lives.

He was feeling totally lost, leaving his family and country for a place where he knew nobody and didn't even speak the language.

Of all evil-doers, the American is most to be feared. He uses more ingenuity in the planning of his projects and will take greater risks in carrying them out than any other malefactor on earth.

Stop policing the world and we can get rid of income tax.

I'm not taking things quite so seriously as before. Especially myself.