Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

If you write anything with using same color of ink on same colors page.Then don't blame eyes for not able to read.

Faith is divine. Apostles (in many cases) are the devil

Evanescence fans aren't the popular kids in school. They aren't the cheerleaders. It's the art kids and the nerds and the kids who grow up to be the most interesting creative people.

To face deflation, you have to have people accepting it and not reacting to it.

Auguries are oft subtle...and dangerous - thou may deem they mean one thing when they mean something else altogether.

This is what sexual liberation chiefly accomplishes-it liberates young women to pursue married men.

It is often said that my heart is too open for my own good.

Tea quenches tears and thirst.

The noble man is only God's image.

To fear the worst oft cures the worst.